Panic and the Attacks it Brings

Anxiety and panic attacks are words that often get thrown around in society these days. Anxiety is defined in the Webster Dictionary as: painful or apprehensive uneasiness of mind usually over an impending or anticipated ill.

Panic attacks are defined as: an episode of intense fear or apprehension that is of sudden onset and may occur for no apparent reason or as a reaction to an identifiable triggering stimulus (as a stressful event); specifically : one that is accompanied by usually four or more bodily or cognitive symptoms (as heart palpitations, dizziness, shortness of breath, or feelings of unreality) and that typically peaks within 10 minutes of onset

You can have anxiety without the panic attacks but I doubt vice versa. I suffer from both. There is not a time in my life that I can honestly say that anxiety hasn’t been a part of. I must say though that anxiety didn’t rule or ruin my childhood. I am a worrier. I think that it’s in my DNA. My mother is a worrier, my dad, sisters…I guess it’s just what we do.

Panic attacks are a different beast entirely. My first attack happened when I was about twenty. I worked the night shift at a big time shipping company (those who live in and around Louisville know who I’m talking about). A friend introduced me to a guy who I was interested in and one night I arrived early to work in hopes of getting to talk to him. I sat in my car running the script over and over in my head. You know the script where I came off as this amazing, funny, flirty, smart, so beautiful he will never be able to live without me type of conversation.

The longer I sat there the more nervous I became. I couldn’t catch my breath. My heart felt as if it was going to beat right out of my chest and I felt lightheaded. I didn’t know what was wrong. Was I sick? Having a heart attack? Whatever it was I just closed my eyes and prayed that it went away. It lasted about ten minutes and then I was fine. Twenty year old me chalked it up to nerves and went inside. BTW I did see the guy that night and was a big hit. Did work out you ask? That is another post. J

Over the years there were other “spells” and I admit they reached an all time high after the death of my father in 2010. Thankfully I’ve met others who suffer from anxiety and/or panic attacks. Through their advice and guidance I’ve been able to educate myself. I’m not on any medication but neither would I be ashamed/resistant if my doctor felt those meds necessary. My words to others dealing with this are you are not weak, weird or any other derogatory name small minded people come up with. You are normal…whatever that means….